President Obama is treating Governor Mitt Romney as the presumptive nominee, so we in The Trenches will, too. As we are partial only to truth and freedom, we ask that Mitt Romney also release his college transcripts. Both attended Harvard Law, and we know that many Americans would like to know “¿Quien es mas macho?” in scholarly accomplishment.
Think of this as a bargaining chip, Mr. Romney. If you freely release your transcripts for inspection by the American public, surely the President will seem petty and paranoid for refusing to release his. We’re nearly certain that the President doesn’t want to appear petty and paranoid so close to an election. We all know how dedicated Barack is to a “system of transparency”, due to his “unprecedented level of openness”.
The American people, like all employers, may investigate a prospective employee’s academic record before he is given the job. Governor Romney shall be no exception. When Barack Obama took office, there was an unfortunate oversight by our HR Department. We should not allow this to happen again, and it should be corrected immediately.
Challenge: Tell us what transparency looks like. Response: This is what transparency looks like.
Ego mitto angelum et daemon. Implacábilem vis et et immobile obiectum.